Spiritual narcolepsy?


Quote of the Day: "Men can starve from a lack of self-realization as much as they can from a lack of bread." - Richard Wright

It really is an interesting thing. To be so oblivious for so long. Like being waking up and not remembering ever going to sleep. 


Spiritual narcolepsy? It's a term that I think is pretty appropriate. 


Spirituality to me means be 100% comfortable being exactly who I am. Not wishing I was anything more and not pretending like I am anything less. 


Now thats self-realization.

To be able to change our conditions?

To be able to change our conditions?

So over the Last few years I have been working in the downtown Boise Idaho area. I have wrote before about my experience of cooking at Solid as I was going through the Ada County Drug Court program. I am truly grateful for everything that the owner of Solid has done for me. I am not so sure that I would have been as successful in drug court with out his support during and after I graduated. I have been on this path for some time now.

What is the deal with the Klever Design?

What is the deal with the Klever Design?

So here is the deal. It has recently started getting nice enough to get out on my paddle board more often. I had to swoop up another one of those Idaho Invasive Species stickers for this season. So I stopped by Idaho River Sports , a local river sports shop here in Boise, Idaho. I grabbed a few things while I was there. One of the things that I picked up was a Kavu KLEAR ABOVE hat. And I literally said out loud “Klear above? Spelled with a K? Huh that is super clever!” Then I immediately said “Ohhh man I am going to make a hat that says ‘Klever’ Clever with a K!”

I started to chuckle a little bit to myself and went home and started working on a design. and so far I have two designs and I am working on a couple others.

When I first started this blog I thought that DOPELESS NOT HOPELESS was super clever.

I run this website because I am passionate about writing. I have tried a few different approaches to how I allow myself to have a voice. I am a lot more involved on my social media platforms, Instagram in particular. But I would like to be able to devote more time to the website. To be able to that I need to be able to have the website bringing in some income. If you have ever ran a website or a blog you probably know that it can be costly. So i have added a few items that my audience can purchase to help support me with this website. I am sure that I will add more hats and shirt designs as time goes on. But just know that I am just trying to add more value to the people that I get to connect with. I believe that with one person a whisper can become a roar. so help my whisper be heard by more people! tell your friends about the Klever hats. Tell your friends about the Dopeless Not Hopless guy!

Take a look in the mirror.

Each challenge that you face is a giant mirror.


To let you look back at yourself, to see all of the greatness that you have inside of you.

That mirror is asking you if you are going to do what it takes to bring what's already inside of you to the surface.

Not so that others can see how great you are. But so that you know how great you are!

It's time to grow through what you go through.

"It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves." - Edmund Hillary

Quote of the Day: "It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves." - Edmund Hillary

Sometimes we are too hyper focused on the destination.

Don't get me wrong. If we don't know where we are going any road will take us there.

But who we become during the journey is far more important. Don't look for short cuts. Trust the process.

You'll never know what you might miss by taking that short cut. You never know who might miss out on what you can offer because you wanted to get there quicker.

I don't want to be asking on my death bed "What if?"

Do you?

Ocean Defenders Alliance.

For my birthday this year, I'm asking for donations to Ocean Defenders Alliance. I've chosen this nonprofit because their mission means a lot to me, and I hope you'll consider contributing as a way to celebrate with me. Every little bit will help me reach my goal. I've included information about Ocean Defenders Alliance below.

Ocean Defenders Alliance works to clean and protect marine ecosystems through documentation, education, and meaningful action. Working with affected communities, we focus primarily on the reduction and removal of man-made debris which poses serious threats to ocean wildlife and habitats.


What if Oxycontin had a point of view. What if Oxycontin had an opinion.

What if Oxycontin had a point of view. What if Oxycontin had an opinion.

So I had this weird thought.

What if drugs had opinions? What if they could tell you about how they view the world from their point of view?

Imagine. Oxycontin’s point of view?

Oxycontin: “All I have ever wanted to do is help people. That is why I am here. To ease the pain of people who are suffering. Like really suffering. But who am I to say what ‘Suffering’ is? How many people would have taken their own life if I hadn’t been there? Can you imagine being mad at a nail gun that was used in building the house that a tornado tore down? I am just little old me. You really could be mad at me, in the same way one might be mad at a nail gun used to create someones safe haven. But it wouldn’t make sense. it was the tornado that tore down the safe haven. Sure someone could use a nail gun to do terrible damage. But that wasn’t why it was created was it? Of course it wasn’t. We don’t even have to ask that question. And I wasn’t created to do terrible damage either."

Interviewer: “So applying the train of thinking or metaphor if you will, what is the Tornado?”

Oxycontin: “That is quite an interesting question. I think that, for most people, the tornado varies. I am not so sure that tornado is really the best thing to use as a metaphor in regards to the circumstance that I often find myself in. Tornado’s are sudden. Often coming with little or no notice. I think a proper metaphor to use with me like the frog in a pot of water. If the frog hopped in to the pot of water while it was boiling it would know well enough to hop right back out. But if that frog were to hop into a pot with luke-warm water, that frog might be more inclined to stay a while. Imagine then, slowly turning the heat up? So slowly that the frog isn’t consciously aware of the increasing danger? What would happen?”

Interviewer: “Well eventually the frog would jump out because it would be too hot right?”

Oxycontin: “That would be the rational thing to do. But pain isn’t really rational. It needs to be sudden, abrupt, for the conscious mind to realize the danger. The ability to adapt to the environment is all well and good. And sometimes it is absolutely necessary. But this particular scenario is not so much about adapting to an environment as it is about the comfort of the particular environment.”

Interviewer:  “How would boiling to death be about comfort?”

Oxycontin:  “Oh don’t misunderstand me. I am just saying that if you were so comfortable that you didn’t realize that you were killing yourself why would you want to do anything different?

Interviewer:  “How could you not know that you were killing yourself?”

Oxycontin: “How could you know that you are actually living?”

I have no idea exactly what sparked this strange idea.

Actually I have an idea.


Quote of the day: Ken Blanchard

"The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority."

-Ken Blanchard

We aren't people that want to pull anyone in any particular direction. We want to be people that push other in the direction they already want to go.

I was told once, by someone that has a lot more influence then they give themselves credit for, that willingness is a byproduct of the actions.

It's not this seemingly overwhelming feeling that come rushing out in a constant stream. But they consistency of action creates the momentum to keep moving even when we don't particularly want to.

Keep moving. Keep pushing. And become a person of influence.


In the Zen Buddhist tradition,

Have you ever heard of the #zenterm Satori? It's a term used to describe awakening, comprehension, or even understanding to some extent.

It is derived from the Japanese verb satoru.

In the Zen Buddhist tradition,

satori refers to the experience of kenshō, "seeing into one's

true nature". .

Ken means "seeing," shō means "nature" or "essence".

I remember hearing a story about a Zen Master being asked "What is it like to achieve Satori?" And his reply was "It's just like normal everyday life but a few inches off the ground." 

Living in such a way that we don't feel held down by all of our anger, fear, resentment, isn't to say that we are unaffected by external influences.

Our heads don't have to be stuck in the sand. Nor do they have to be stuck in the clouds. But right where we are. In the present moment.

One thing that has been constant. Change.


One thing that has been constant. Change. 

I used to be terrified of change. Changing myself. Changing of season. (Still not a big fan of winter. I can't winter... but it still doesn't need my permission ha)

Changing of emotions. Like a roller coaster. Or a yo-yo. Or like the rotation of the moon around us. Or us around the sun. It doesn't need our permission. Change is constant.

But we do have the opportunity to change along side the natural flow of things. We can be the change. We can be the one changing. 

Sometimes all we need is a slight shift in perspective. And other times more that just perspective we can physically make the changes that we would like to see. 

Want to purchase? Click Photo!

Want to purchase? Click Photo!

Not to say that we ought to ignore the stuff that isn't all that pleasant or to pretend like all is good in the world. But we can raise our voices and our minds to higher potential. All we have to do is reach for it.

Control is something of an illusion.


I was talking with a buddy last night about this idea of control.

Personally I think it's something of an illusion. Not much different than using photo shop.


It might make things look one way from the outside perspective. But it takes time, energy, and a certain kind of motivation to project those things. And it doesn't make it reality.

Even if those projections seem preferable. Or more interesting. Or just more colorful and fun. Reality doesn't change just because we want it to be a certain way.

And I've said this before, but maybe all of the energy that we are using, that has no impact on our reality, is a misuse of resources.

I don't want to say that it is a waste of resources. But I'm not so sure if it's always the best use of the resources we have.

I want to make an impact. I want to increase the amount of significance that I (and the people I choose to surround myself with) have on the world around us.

The universe seems to be...


The universe seems to be a constant process of putting together the patterns that you choose.

I've been talking with a friend about life being a journey. I want to share a bit of our conversation with all of you.

She said (In reply to me saying I wasn't so sure about roads or predestination.) "Maybe not a road but like your journey, think of your true, authentic self as a destination. And your entire life, you’ve been going through trials and tribulations, learning and growing or taking from what’s happened. Or, digging yourself deeper.. falling down and refusing to get back up, tripping over every bump.

Repeating the same cycle (also karmic) until you’ve learned the lesson the universe is trying to teach you." 

Check out the new  Spray Paint Art Shop  here!

Check out the new Spray Paint Art Shop here!

Dropping some heavy stuff on me got me like 🤯🤯🤯 lol

I replied "But what if our own inability of being anything other than our true and authentic self is the lesson? 
And that the journey is us trying to convince ourselves that that lesson is untrue. That we aren't already 'That'
And that the means of death (Life itself) is just too sweet."

And she hits me with this "BUTTTTT What if accepting that you’re not that is just taking another step in becoming that? Accepting the vulnerability of being true and authentic to yourself? No matter what that means to you. Because I think the journey is whatever you decide it to be. Untrue or not. Accepting of what is and isn’t about yourself and loving all of those parts. Leading them to be, True and authentic." 

The conversations with depth are what I crave. Thank you if you have ever let me dive into your mind

"There's no beauty in silence for the sake of appearing whole." -Jen Elizabeth

Have you heard of Jen Elizabeth?

She is the author of a book called "𝑺𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒂 𝑾𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏" which can be found on amazon.

You can find her on instagram @resurrektion_of_me 

I am sharing a post that she tagged me in and like usual I am going to ramble.

I felt this "Don't trust, don't talk, don't feel." kind of dysfunction from a very young age. There was a time when I thought that it was more intentional. Something that had been taught. .

But I have come realize that it was just years and years and generations and generations of unhealed emotional trauma, baggage and ignorance (disguised as bliss) passed on and on with no one the wiser. No one to educate anyone about the possibility of emotional security and the wonders of allowing oneself the opportunity for the strength that comes with being vulnerable.

Like being given an option to wear a pair of glasses that changes the way the world looks when you wear them. But not realizing I had an option. Everyone else was wearing them. That's just what people do. And I'm a person right? If I weren't wearing them would I still be?

"Forgive them for they know not what they do" comes to mind. And I'm not even religious. But wise words are wise words. And I'm not wearing those glasses anymore.

Agreement Number Four


Sooo Agreement Four? Always do your best.

I like how the author pointed out that our best is different when we first wake verses when we are getting ready for bed. And even how our best when we are sober is different then our best when we are drunk.

All these Agreements, Be impeccable with your word, Don't take anything personal, Don't make assumptions. They are going to be an overnight kind of transformation.

It could take 30 seconds or 30 years. But what kind of agreements have we made with ourselves already that we would need to let fall away to adopt these new ones?

There are a million different scenarios that I can think of that would be in direct conflict between these new agreements and the agreements that have developed over time.

All of those conflicting agreements could totally be the stick that we use to beat ourselves with.

A pot where guilt and shame can be brewed and stewed bubbling up with toxin vapors. But this gentle reminder to always do our best is a suggestion to be kind to ourselves and others.

Take things case by case. Allow ourselves the opportunity for introspection and reflection from a non judgmental vantage point.

The opinion and the judge have the power we offer them. If they have power it's because we gave it to them.

So be kind. And always do your best.

Round 3 "Don't make assumptions"

#newink  cr:  @tattooboise208  (hit him up for an appointment!! Let him know I sent ya!)

#newink cr: @tattooboise208 (hit him up for an appointment!! Let him know I sent ya!)

Up next?!
Agreement Number 3!
Don't make assumptions.

This one is so interconnected with the first two Agreements it blows my mind 🤯

Be impeccable with your word & Don't take things personal, in case we need a little reminder.

But seriously that first one talks about the magic of words. Jumping to assumptions takes away our ability of using that magic. So it's a disservice to ourselves and others.

In my last post I mentioned having that ridiculous conversation in my own head with someone that I have never met. Those kind of mental habits are a direct correlation to taking things personal. Giving ourselves an inflated and distorted perspective of our own importance.

That gal had absolutely no idea who I am. But what she said hit home. And my brain assumes, because of years of conditioning and habits, that it needs to defend itself.

The amount of time, energy, and effort put in to things that aren't helping to create momentum in the direction we want to go, might be a misuse of resources.

A wave never apologizes for doing what a wave does. A wave never has to make assumptions. A wave never takes anything personal.

I might not have any control over the waves but I can grab a board and get to know the waves a little better.

Revisiting a quote. It is just that powerful.


Quote of the day: "Infuse your life with action. Don't wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen... yourself, right now, right down here on Earth."

-Bradley Whitford

Revisiting a quote I posted a while back because I think it is just that powerful..

I'd venture to say that some of the best times of my life have been riddled with a sense of overwhelming doubt. As well as positive action. I have refused to stand idlely by when I can put the effort into creating the life I want to live. 

With vision. Being able to clearly see what the finish line looks like with out knowing how far away it is. With measurable goals. Being stubborn about them but being flexible about the methods.